We go through life and what people see “outside” can many times be completely different than what we have on the “inside.” An internal conflict (battle) is defined by Google as, “the struggle occurring within a character’s mind. Things such as the character views for, but can’t quite reach.”
Every day we can smile and laugh but on the inside we are raging and screaming. I think for myself that most people never had any idea that inside I was falling apart and battling demons in my mind. I also don’t think that those same people would ever believe that I was suicidal and battling depression and anxiety, even if I told them now. I put on such a great act so that no one around me would see the real me, the internal me.
But why? Why do we hide these internal battles? Why do we only let these internal battles play out in our minds all the while smiling to the world as best we can? Because, it’s human nature amplified by social/media stereotypes and pressure that leads us to believe that these conflicts are “wrong,” that pushes us to be cautious of being judged and “shamed” by others.
Isn’t an internal battle something that we should embrace? Why can’t it be something that we can use to empower ourselves? While we hide our internal battle we are only really harming ourselves in the end. We are causing ourselves more pain, stress and anguish trying to hide our problems from everyone then by simply saying to someone, “no I’m not really ok. I have a lot going on that I’m trying to figure out right now.”
Maybe instead of pushing away our thoughts we should take a deep breath and welcome those thoughts, letting them in. When we push our thoughts away, those thoughts just become more intense and demanding. We need to let our subconscious mind know that we hear it and we accept the message. An internal battle is something that should be embraced because it means our minds are functioning and thinking, our mind is trying to wake us up and help us.
Conflict is unavoidable . . In our daily lives, in our minds . . . It’s unavoidable. As much as we may try to run away from it and hide from it, conflict will always find us, if not with others, internally with ourselves. When we struggle and we come face to face with our battles, our struggles, we find what we really need, what we really cling to.
Internal battles, struggles, in our lives reveal and redefine us. We have to accept these battles so that we can let go of what we don’t need and focus on the essentials. No matter who we are or who we want to become we all have internal battles. From our internal battles we can figure out what really matters to us. But, we have to make sure we consciously embrace the internal battle and confront it, not let it consume us and take us down the dark rabbit hole of blackness.
I’m not saying that we won’t feel vulnerable when we embrace our internal battles. I know every time I consciously sit and think and focus on my internal battle I feel completely alone and vulnerable to everything. It’s scary but at the end it’s empowering to know that I took the time to confront myself and say, “listen self, I understand what you’re saying. I accept what you’re saying. But, I’m going to do this right now.” Or you say, “ok self. I hear you. I accept what you’re saying. And, yes I think you’re correct right now. But just give me some time because I’m not ready yet.” It’s like telling ourselves that in this moment we understand that how we are operating through life isn’t working and won’t sustain us long term but we recognize and understand this, we just need some more time. It’s the acknowledgement to our subconscious that we are aware and we are not going to let it consume us. We are going to work with it together to find a solution.
It’s the match that lights the fire. The battle is the fire that has the opportunity to fundamentally alter everything in our lives if we let it. When we embrace our internal battle we change ourselves not only internally up outwardly too. Instead of projecting a “false” self to the world we can begin to show our “true” self. Little by little, baby steps, we can get there to accept not our physical self but our mental self in every state.
Simply put, “Embrace the struggle and let it make you stronger. It won’t last forever.”